Are You Tired Yet???

“The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.” ~ Bill Cosby          In the wake of the shooting death of Michael Brown, there has been a great disturbance among the black community …

Don’t Lose Me in The Moment… Seriously Help!!!

Good Day Folks… How’s it hanging? How ya mama and daddy, brother sister nem doing?

As I go through old photos, getting rid of items and make space for new adventures, I’ve come across some pretty embarrassing photos. Y’all know the ones that make you say “Well let me just throw this in the trash now!” or “Seriously I thought that was hot?” I haven’t always walked the straight narrow and I still don’t. But we’ll save that for another time and another moment. Seriously, have you ever gone back through old memories and items and thought to yourself “Thank the Lord for common sense!” Well I have. Here are 10 things I am grateful I didn’t do or go through with as youngster…

1. Weddings: Y’all remember those days behind the school bleachers getting high… Yeah I do too. Apparently I promised someone my hand in marriage and all the babies he could hope for… And he wanted 11 just like his grandparents… Foolishly I said yes!!! (LMBO) Needless to say even though I loved him (or thought I did) a few months later I dumb him to pursue a real relationship with weed.
2. Tattoos: Let’s be honest we’ve all contemplated those “His & Hers” tattoos. Thankfully I’ve had enough sense to say no.
3. Moving: My early 20’s were filled with adventures and not so well thought out activities. Making plans to move to another country for a guy, that even at this moment I cannot remember his entire name. How reckless and immature? Needless to say I didn’t go. This was courtesy of my mom…. Final decision “Let’s try a long distance relationship first!”
4. Love Them All: You just can’t love them all even if you try. Luckily, I knew the difference in fun, real and just too much.
5. Protection: Sex wasn’t the topic at dinner in my household but when I was older my mom suggested I protect myself. And I did just that. I stocked up on my own stash of condoms, knives and pepper spray. I never regret the decision to protect myself and carry it around.
6. Friends: I love all my friends to pieces and I pray they love me. We all have been friends for at least 6 years or more. We have been through ups and downs, ins and outs but ain’t no man coming between us. Lmbo!!! There was this guy who wanted me to give up my friends because some of them weren’t so innocent… Of course I was confused. Needless to say, he will always be remembered as the guy who never had a chance. What about your friends? LOL!!!
7. Recordings: My friends and I love to dance and sing. I am so glad camera phones and video cameras weren’t always readily available. I can only imagine what kind of hot mess would have been waiting for us in the future. Or, let’s not forget those girls’ nights that we bashed our guys or guys and other people. No need to have evidence of those things…
8. Kiss and Tell: I love my girls but let’s be honest how many of us share every single detail with your girls. I love my privacy to a certain extent. There are things you tell and then there are things you hold on too. Whether they are embarrassing or not. You should never hold the same cards as your friends. I’m just saying.
9. Ride or Die: When I love, I love hard. Let’s be honest though… I always wanted to hold my guy down and ride the waves with him. Whether it was love or not I wanted to be supportive… To a certain extent though. Oh you in jail? Dang, I’m sorry make sure you hit me up when you get out. Or those moments where they need a grip of cash and you know they get paid just like you do…. Nah bruh, you good.
10. Cosmetic Surgery: Weighing in at 146lbs and 21… I wanted smaller breast, lipo suction and butt implants. That would’ve been a waste of my money and time. I would’ve been banging for about 4 or 5 years… It’s best to wait until after you are done having kids to make that kind of investment into yourself, unless you have money like then go ahead. I am definitely glad I waited and I am still waiting.

It’s ok to be young, but be smart in your travels. I know some of you might go into the “world” (live a secular life) and experience different things, but just take care of yourself first and foremost. Premarital sex is wrong; however, it may be hard to hold out for some people. If sex is something you’re curious about, talk with your parents. Your parents will have an opinion, but would want you to do the right thing, and they will help you protect yourself. If not, there are free clinics to obtain birth control or other contraceptive options. Candidly speaking, I provided my own condoms, I put myself on birth control and I got tested often. Ladies always look out for yourself. Ask for his/her status. Be informed and never be ashamed to say no. Make your own sexual decisions. Never allow yourself to be pressured into doing something you know in your heart you do not want to do. When all else fails, look to God for guidance to abstain or to lead a celibate lifestyle. Trust me I know it’s difficult but it’s so worth it. Leave me your questions or comments below. Send me an email for a bit of advice. 

 

Until next time… Follow me on Twitter and Instragram @GoodolNeech

Happy Mother’s Day

Mothers are a gift from God. Despite their flaws and shortcomings. Either they teach you what you desire or they teach you what not to desire. Let’s make sure we tell our mothers how much we love and cherish them. You only have one mother so love her unconditionally. Let’s not hold on to grudges against the woman who sacrificed the most. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers. I speak life and abundant blessings to each and every one of you!!! Spread the love to those whose mothers have passed away. Encourage them and lift those up who need it and let’s keep going in love.

Enjoy the day and be blessed!!!

Until next time…. XOXO!!!

Bruh… For Real???

As a little ol’ nappy head girl, with a Mizani perm, I was raise Missionary Baptist, in the African American south. And some of us know exactly what that means. For those who don’t, let me help ya…

1. Sunday school went from 9 – 10:30 or 11am (long winded teachers and no organization is to blame for that extra 30 mins.) Regular Service or morning service was from 11 – 2 or 3 (where ever the spirit led them)
2. Ladies… you better not come in here in those New York and Company pants or pants for that matter. You are lady, put on that skirt or dress.
3. Ladies… Where are your pants hose? Bare flesh will not be tolerated up in here. Jesus don’t want to see your legs and neither does my husband or my son. (Ha! Ha!)
4. Jeans??? No kind person. Your jeans are meant for socializing and mingling amongst the sinners… In the house of GODT… (God) you will dress accordingly.
5. Speaking in tongues??? Off with their heads!!! Not up in here!!! Not on my watch. Not against my Godt!!!

You catch my drift???

Everything was a problem and not acceptable. And going to someone else church… You better not even ask because those heathens are going to hell because they let their people wear jeans. That is the mentality of most African American churches. Not all. (Please keep in mind the not all part. If this wasn’t you growing congratulations, you wore jeans to church.) Every African American church had/has it set of rules and/or customs that “set them apart” in the eyes of the Lord. If you didn’t believe what I believed you were going to hell and there was no question about it. Why did this mentality resonate with so many people…? Great question. Resonated for me because after hearing things like don’t question God, don’t question me (person in charge), and pray about it, because it’s in the word… Shoot. I was like ok. I’m scared. I’m going to take your word for it because it sounds right. Now right here lies the problem with a lot of Christians. “It sounds right!” These folks could be selling you away and you never opened your bible to read it for yourself. Now granted as a child I can understand this mentality. But some of us adults…. Seriously bruh…. For real??? You still on that petty stuff huh? SMH!!!

For example…

The time I first visited my husband’s family and I heard them speaking in tongues. I was scared to death. They sitting here praising the lord and I am in the back asking Jesus to forgive me and them. Why??? Another great question… Because I was told it was wrong. And in my early 20’s I still hadn’t read it for myself. ***SPOILER ALERT*** (I used to be all up in the world… But don’t tell nobody). One day during service, when I was a child, we had a visitor, she got up and started saying something no one understood. Before I could ask anybody anything, I saw that finger wrapped polyester clothing, marching over to this woman and she was gone. (I wonder what she said to her.) After church, I asked my folks what she was saying, because I thought she spoke English to well to be an immigrant. (Don’t judge me. I was a child and didn’t think before I spoke.) I mean seriously, she basically got kicked out church, so somebody had to know what she was saying… Right??? Apparently, no one knew what she was saying but one of the deaconess’ recognized it as the devils language. Needless to say, I was like ooohhhh okay. I get it. She was kicked out because she was different? And you took the advice of a woman who uses peppermint as perfume? (Slumps in chair and ponder.) The answer I was given was, it’s in the bible that it is wrong and it’s the devils language. So… You guessed it. I took it and ran with it.

Of course I know better now.

As I got to know my new found family, I realized, the devil hadn’t taken over my mind and speaking in tongues worked for them. It wasn’t “demonic” and guess what the bible says it’s ok. Don’t believe me, let me help you….Acts 10: 44-48. Just read it for yourself.

But let’s get serious for a moment. We all believe and worship differently, no one person is right and the other is wrong. In Romans 14: 10 – 23, it tells you not be so focused on the undesirable thing your brother or sister may doing. While you’re focused on them, you’ve become a hindering block in their lives and now brought doubt upon them. You don’t do your brother and sister that way. Love them despite your differences and worry about your own relationship with God and push your beliefs on anyone else. (This is my simple interpretation of these scriptures. Read for yourself and know your word). These scriptures spoke volumes to me. And here’s why…

• I am not a bible thumper. And I felt bad for this short coming because everyone around me was throwing scripture left and right for everything. But in this scripture I realized, me and God have our thing going on. He loves and I love Him. I know the bible and I know my brothers and sisters have different beliefs, so I let us be peacefully. Who am I to say they are wrong? And vice versa?
• Shouting and speaking in tongues… Might not be my calling. I’m good with my thank you’s and my own worship. Shouting and speaking in tongues doesn’t make me any less of Christian.
• I know what my convictions are, so therefore, almost everything else is ok (to a certain extent). Everyone isn’t convicted by the same thing and I accept that and I embrace it for everyone.

I’m different. We all are different. Everything is not a demonic force, generational curse (but those women that wear performance art makeup every day that should be on the list… I’m joking), our differences still won’t change the fact that we should all be worrying about our individual relationships with God. Get to know the bible for yourself and get right with your life.

Welp that’s all I have…. Until next time…

Patience Is The New Black

Hello love bugs!!!

I am late posting and I apologize. I am seriously going to get back on track I promise.

As I mentioned earlier in a previous blog, it’s time for Lent. I am going to do my best to post every Friday or Saturday, share a few scriptures with you and s few other things.

I follow SheReadsTruth blog… Here they gave an assigned reading to for their followers to do. This week it was on Psalms 130.

So here we go…

As I read Psalms 130, I couldn’t help but reflect on redemption, forgiveness and patience. In verses 2-3 it speak on redemption, it translates for me into, “Lord, pay attention to my cry for help. If you looked at sins who would be left.” These verses are important since we all seek for His everlasting grace and mercy. Open your heart and cry out to Him so He can hear your pleas for help and grant you the salvation that your heart desires. Verse 4; acknowledges that with God there is forgiveness. And with that forgiveness we as his people will worship him. Also, verses 5-6, patience in our Christian journey is key. “I wait for the Lord, more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” Wait day and night for the lord to come to bless you and deliver you from whatever is going on in your life. In 7-8, He tells Israel to put all their faith into Him, there is faithful love and redemption.

No matter where life takes you or how bad you may think your problem is God is waiting to hear your cry so that he may come and help you. He may not come when you want Him but His love and forgiveness is right on time, so display patience for Him. He has not forgotten about you. God is powerful and He is waiting on you to put your hope in Him and not man. He wants the same love and affection as you expect from Him. With His love you comes forgiveness and so many other treasures of life. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, we are unworthy to stand before but we so deeply yearn to serve Him. Place your hope in the Lord cause in His coming there is redemption for our sins.

Patience is a very important key to this passage; primarily because it’s very important in our everyday lives. Without patience you may be blocking blessings out of your life. No one wants to give cheerfully to a person who is intolerable and rude to the public. You never know who may be watching or who you are talking to. Yes the situation you may be in is very frustrating and uneasy to deal with; do not lose focus of your goals. That situation may be your breakthrough. Keep a smile on your face and keep moving forward in God.

Psalms 130 should bring us all to tears and humble us. We all have short comings but He loves us anyway. He forgives us when we may not even deserve it. He is continuously blessings us and watching over us. All he asks is for us to be patient. You should be patient and believe in Him. Israel waited why can’t we? Worship Him while you wait.

Blessings and Glory belong to you!!!

Later love bugs!!!

***WHOOPS*** I Can’t Keep My Hands Off That Thang Pt. 2

What’s going on good people?!?! Can I get a hallelu?!?! Won’t He do it?!?! If God has been good to ya raise your voices and show the homie some love….

Well in this second part, as I wrap this post up, I just want to talk to y’all about your salvation and it means to you, as it pertains to masturbation. As I have done previously, I will give my disclaimer. I am not preacher, teacher, nor am I an expert on this topic or any topic. This is simply my opinion and my personal perspective.

In my earlier post, we were trying help Sister Betty Jo find the answers she needed to make a more informed decision on masturbation. For all you good Christian folks out there turn your bibles to Acts 17:11; read this scripture and I pray it guides you to discern scriptures for yourself. A good Christian walk is based on your judgment. Asking someone else to walk your walk for you is not the way to go. Please keep in mind, your walk is not going to be the same as mine or anyone else you may know. It is going to be different and your walk may seem more difficult than those around you but keep the faith.

As for you Sister Betty Jo…

It is all about the heart. What do you feel in your heart? Can you masturbate without lusting after someone?

Sex was made to be enjoyed by two married people; husband and wife type. Sex was made to please your partner. As you stated in your email; you are celibate and have been for awhile, do not jeopardize your vow to yourself and The Lord for a moment of pleasure/relief.

Masturbation is a form of perversion and you must free yourself from your worldly desires. Fasting is a good way to overcome this battle. And don’t forget to pray. Praying is a great to talk to God. Tell Him your troubles. Also, I do not know what you do on a daily basis but might I even suggest working out. Finding a new interesting hobby. There is nothing like putting all those idol thoughts into something positive. I took up cooking when I was faced with my own bouts with perversion. It also helped me get my mind off whatever I was thinking about at that moment.

And to be very honest with you, nothing worked more for me than the love and support from those around me. The kind of people you have in your life are very important. If they do not understand your desires and aren’t very supportive of you that is going to be make things around you be more conflicting. Find you a good group of women who share your desire for The Lord. You don’t have to give them the blow by blow of what you are going through in your life; their presence will be good enough.

My definitive answer to your question is NO. It is not ok to masturbate. The answers to this question can be found in the bible. Just look up lust, sexual immortality and perversion in the bible. Read those scriptures and really study them.

Romans 6:11-14 (NKJV) “Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lust. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments to righteousness God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

Well, that is all for now. Please feel free to give feedback, comments or weigh in on the topic. I would love to hear someone else’s perspective!!!

Until next time good people…

Stay classy church…

***WHOOPS*** I Can’t Keep My Hands Off That Thang Pt. 1

What’s going on church? How y’all living? How y’all mama and daddy? Husband and wives doing?

Church it has been brought to my attention that there are some people out there in the congregation can’t keep their hands to themselves. Smh. I am going to need y’all to get it together in real life.

Before I go into the topic I just want put out my disclaimer. This is something that I prayed on and it is also something that I have studied. I have had a few conversations with a variety of people. Lastly, it is merely my opinion. You do not necessarily have to agree with me but do so in a constructive manor. I am not trying to tell you how to live your life as Christian on this earth, I am just merely giving you the information to make a more informed choice. This question was asked to me by a young woman who is curious. I am going to call her Betty Jo.

Church help me to understand why as we go forth on this good ol’ Christian journey, there are still some folks that are still unsure about their walk and where their hands should go. Sister Betty Jo stopped me after church(sent an email) and laid down her story to me. She said, she has only been saved a few years but before she decided to rededicate her life to Christ, she was a fornicator. And boy did she let me know how much she loved sex. Her sins, are not why we are here today church. Sister Betty Jo, says that lately the devil has been trying to bring her down. Now that she is celibate; temptation is all around her coming at her with a vengeance. She wants to stay on her path but she feels that there has to be something that can help her ease the edge off of her arousal. Sister Betty Jo says she has all kinds of sex toys and has occasionally thought about touching herself. She wants to know is it ok to masturbate and if it isn’t where can she find proof?

Well Sister Betty Jo, I am here today to let you know we are praying for you. And I hope my words will help clarify and give you the proof that you are seeking to help you run this good ol’ Christian race. And also, I think this will help you:

“These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so.” -Acts 17:11 (NKJV)

Let me start by asking you a question church? When its cold at night do you think it is ok to masturbate/ play with yourself? Let that marinate a while. For my married people out there, has there been in new baby in the house? Men: maybe your wife is giving all her attention to the new baby, maybe she doesn’t think her body is ready or maybe after you saw your wife push out this 6lb baby her “love below” isn’t too appealing to you anymore. I mean seriously she pushed out a whole baby and took it like a G and then she went on to smile afterwards and now she expects you to be ready cause she’s ready. Women: maybe he has gained/lost weight, maybe the last time you had sex he did something to turn you off and you can’t find the on switch or maybe you just had a baby, needed a few stitches to heal you and sex isn’t a priority to you. Maybe you want some alone time with yourself. There are a series of things that can come up as to why you and your mate aren’t having sex; however, the question is, while you wait for your mate, do indulge in a little pleasure time of your own?

To all my singles, those who have had sex before, what do you do to curve the appetite? How do you stay on your walk with Christ and keep your hands from wondering down below? To the virgins, has this ever been a thought? Have you ever submitted?

Well church, after doing some research here is what I found out:

There is no place in the bible that says masturbation is either good or bad. So I am assuming that in the bible days masturbation was not a concern for the people. However, there are several scriptures on perversion, adultery, adultery of the heart, sexual immortality, so on and so forth.

Matthews 5:27-30 (NKJV) “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to cast into hell.”

So, in this scripture alone lies a very deep question; can you masturbate without lust? Lets be honest, you are sexually frustrated because you have seem someone or something that aroused you. You want to release that energy off but can you do so without lusting? Can you masturbate without imagining it is Morris or Halle? The key to it is your imagination. The sin lies within your mind and your heart. Masturbation is just like drinking. Can you drink in moderation or do you find yourself getting intoxicated? If you can masturbate without lust then I would say go for it. However, before you drop those undies let me give you something else to think about.

Romans 14:12-13 (NKJV) “So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.”

Ephesians 5:3-5 (NKJV) “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” 

You have to makeup in your hearts today, whether or not masturbation pleases God. When you get to heaven do you believe in your heart that God will say well done? Is this little bit of alone time worth the uncertainty of this deed. God did create sex for a man and woman. What you do in your marriage bed is your business; however, let it be done with your spouse.

I know that after having years of sex that it is difficult to curve that appetite. And I will say masturbation is wrong and it is not the answer to your problem. Let me tell you something Sister Betty Jo, once you find your mate and you consummate the marriage, those urges will never go away. And how you can help yourself is by fasting and praying. In hard times my sister seek the Lord. That is what he wants us to do. Pray until something changes. Knowing a little of your past Sister Betty Jo, I can relate to you. Even though I am married, my husband doesn’t always “open the door when I knock”… LMBO!!! That’s code for he says no! The key to it is, having a willpower. When gives me that no, I drink a cup of water, mumble a few unkind things under my breath, I pray for forgiveness (for the unkind things I said), I also pray for peace and patience.

Sister Betty Jo you won’t make it on this journey without peace and patience. I am praying for you and I hope I was able to assist you and your question.

Listen church, this is one person’s opinion and my opinion came from reading, searching and believing what is right in my heart. Please come back tomorrow and I will finish this off. Until then y’all stay prayed up.

Much Love

Lies, Booze and Daddy Issues

Well church, I know some time has passed since I last wrote anything or even dropped by to hello. I’m sorry y’all. However, let me tell y’all the word of the day: Forgiveness

You can not make it through any relationship without FORGIVENESS. And I am not talking about that forgiveness that you give after you have had time to cool off. Not that forgiveness you give when you are good and ready. I am talking about someone doing you wrong and you look at them in their face and smile. Forgive them and walk away. I am talking about your husband coming home from work and has no plans to take over for you so you can shower; and you look him in the face and smile. Yes, I am talking about that quick on your toes forgiveness. That bob and weave forgiveness. Lmbo!!!

Seriously though, forgiveness is a must. I have had my share of times when I want to react in a negative manner and go all off. Get so hood with a few folks but a few times I looked at myself and said girl please, I wish you would. I hit my forgive button; put my diva face on and roll out. In reading my bible I have found a lot of answers to the simple questions in the book of Ephesians. But what I have to say doesn’t come from Ephesians it comes from Matthew 6:14-15

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

In others, forgive that man or woman who has done you wrong cause God will stop you dead in your tracks and say “DO NOT PASS GO! AND DO NOT COLLECT $500.” Maybe not those words but you get the picture.

Growing up, my father wasn’t there much for me. I thought my mother was your typical baby mama keeping that baby from the daddy. As I got older my views we were changed on the entire situation and I was forced to see the truth for what it really was, he was just unavailable so to speak. Looking back at my mother she was the perfect model of forgiveness. She knew what the deal was between the two of them and instead of telling me the truth, she nurtured my opinion of them both and never uttered a bad word about him. Well until it was time for me get married. Moral here is, forgiveness to those who have wronged you and forgive yourself. No need of beating yourself up for actions that have already been taken. Once I found out the truth, I wanted to hate him for the remainder of my life; however, I couldn’t and I don’t. I don’t understand why he didn’t or doesn’t want a relationship with me but I couldn’t ponder over that because I don’t know his side. But I was surprisingly quick to forgive him. Yeah it hurt my feelings but it taught me to forgive the things I didn’t understand.

Forgiving things that you do not understand may seem difficult. And no it doesn’t get easier. However you will drive yourself crazy trying to understand another person’s actions, especially when your actions are the only ones you have control over. So stop telling yourself those lies to help you sleep at night, put down that glass of wine or the booze; get on your knees forgive those who have wronged you and forgive yourself while you’re at. Remember to love your neighbors and most of all love yourself.

Goodnight church!!!