Are You Tired Yet???

“The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.” ~ Bill Cosby          In the wake of the shooting death of Michael Brown, there has been a great disturbance among the black community …

Black Folk Problems

“When it hurts, it runs deep. When it runs deep, it becomes contagious. When it becomes contagious, it becomes dangerous. Let’s take the fear and danger out of asking for help.”

Yesterday we lost a great legion, Robin Williams. As I am sure most have heard, his death was the result of a suicide. It is reported that he suffered from depression and substance abuse; which he had been trying to stay clean and get the help he needed. Now you may ask what does this have to with black folks and their issues. My response everything…

As an African American young woman, I have seen and heard the affects of mental illness in our community. “Get out them white folks face talkin’ bout yo problems. They don’t care you!” and “We have enough thang going on in our lives without you hollering ’round here ’bout yo business!” and “We black, we ain’t got no head problems.” and “Suck that crap up, life moving on and you sitting here cryin’ bout split milk.” Now I have heard a few of these phrases and then some and the sad part is those who may have been seeking help, have never gotten or will never  receive the care that they may need. Feeling as if they are weak and/or not a REAL black person if they seek counseling for their issues.

Mental health is very much real in our communities and in our lives. Not every one knows how to do a healthy purge of emotions. So as that parent, sibling, friend, lover, co-worker and/or community we have to make sure that we are hearing our loved ones out. Counseling may not be the solution to everything, maybe that person needs to know that they are genuinely loved and cared for by those that are in their life. And maybe counseling is just the thing that they may need. We will never know what our loved ones may be in need of, if we never listen and shut them out whenever they reach out.

So how does mental health become black folk problems? I am not saying that mental health is solely black folk problems, but what I am saying is, the denial of mental health issues in our community is great. The problem with being in denial about it becomes dangerous to the person and their environment. It becomes our problem because we are the ones tearing down those who suffer from any form of mental health or as a proxy in that person’s life we are giving them unrealistic answers to their very real issues.

There are black people right now struggling to cope with life, because their loved ones shutdown the idea of seeking professional help. Living a life where people feel that you are so out of control and they are now afraid you, but these are the same people who denied you the help you may have needed to be able to function in society. Our communities are filled with oxymoron’s and it needs to stop. 

So let’s pray (if you are praying people), talk, laugh, sooth or whatever that person may need from you at the time. But it’s timeout for closing the doors on our loved ones. It’s time to close our mouths and open our ears to their needs. Let’s build them up and let them that they are surrounded by love and encourage them to see things through. 

Until next time… Deuces 

 

***WHOOPS*** I Can’t Keep My Hands Off That Thang Pt. 2

What’s going on good people?!?! Can I get a hallelu?!?! Won’t He do it?!?! If God has been good to ya raise your voices and show the homie some love….

Well in this second part, as I wrap this post up, I just want to talk to y’all about your salvation and it means to you, as it pertains to masturbation. As I have done previously, I will give my disclaimer. I am not preacher, teacher, nor am I an expert on this topic or any topic. This is simply my opinion and my personal perspective.

In my earlier post, we were trying help Sister Betty Jo find the answers she needed to make a more informed decision on masturbation. For all you good Christian folks out there turn your bibles to Acts 17:11; read this scripture and I pray it guides you to discern scriptures for yourself. A good Christian walk is based on your judgment. Asking someone else to walk your walk for you is not the way to go. Please keep in mind, your walk is not going to be the same as mine or anyone else you may know. It is going to be different and your walk may seem more difficult than those around you but keep the faith.

As for you Sister Betty Jo…

It is all about the heart. What do you feel in your heart? Can you masturbate without lusting after someone?

Sex was made to be enjoyed by two married people; husband and wife type. Sex was made to please your partner. As you stated in your email; you are celibate and have been for awhile, do not jeopardize your vow to yourself and The Lord for a moment of pleasure/relief.

Masturbation is a form of perversion and you must free yourself from your worldly desires. Fasting is a good way to overcome this battle. And don’t forget to pray. Praying is a great to talk to God. Tell Him your troubles. Also, I do not know what you do on a daily basis but might I even suggest working out. Finding a new interesting hobby. There is nothing like putting all those idol thoughts into something positive. I took up cooking when I was faced with my own bouts with perversion. It also helped me get my mind off whatever I was thinking about at that moment.

And to be very honest with you, nothing worked more for me than the love and support from those around me. The kind of people you have in your life are very important. If they do not understand your desires and aren’t very supportive of you that is going to be make things around you be more conflicting. Find you a good group of women who share your desire for The Lord. You don’t have to give them the blow by blow of what you are going through in your life; their presence will be good enough.

My definitive answer to your question is NO. It is not ok to masturbate. The answers to this question can be found in the bible. Just look up lust, sexual immortality and perversion in the bible. Read those scriptures and really study them.

Romans 6:11-14 (NKJV) “Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lust. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments to righteousness God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

Well, that is all for now. Please feel free to give feedback, comments or weigh in on the topic. I would love to hear someone else’s perspective!!!

Until next time good people…

Stay classy church…