“The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.” ~ Bill Cosby In the wake of the shooting death of Michael Brown, there has been a great disturbance among the black community … Continue reading
Are You Tired Yet???
Black Folk Problems
“When it hurts, it runs deep. When it runs deep, it becomes contagious. When it becomes contagious, it becomes dangerous. Let’s take the fear and danger out of asking for help.”
Yesterday we lost a great legion, Robin Williams. As I am sure most have heard, his death was the result of a suicide. It is reported that he suffered from depression and substance abuse; which he had been trying to stay clean and get the help he needed. Now you may ask what does this have to with black folks and their issues. My response everything…
As an African American young woman, I have seen and heard the affects of mental illness in our community. “Get out them white folks face talkin’ bout yo problems. They don’t care you!” and “We have enough thang going on in our lives without you hollering ’round here ’bout yo business!” and “We black, we ain’t got no head problems.” and “Suck that crap up, life moving on and you sitting here cryin’ bout split milk.” Now I have heard a few of these phrases and then some and the sad part is those who may have been seeking help, have never gotten or will never receive the care that they may need. Feeling as if they are weak and/or not a REAL black person if they seek counseling for their issues.
Mental health is very much real in our communities and in our lives. Not every one knows how to do a healthy purge of emotions. So as that parent, sibling, friend, lover, co-worker and/or community we have to make sure that we are hearing our loved ones out. Counseling may not be the solution to everything, maybe that person needs to know that they are genuinely loved and cared for by those that are in their life. And maybe counseling is just the thing that they may need. We will never know what our loved ones may be in need of, if we never listen and shut them out whenever they reach out.
So how does mental health become black folk problems? I am not saying that mental health is solely black folk problems, but what I am saying is, the denial of mental health issues in our community is great. The problem with being in denial about it becomes dangerous to the person and their environment. It becomes our problem because we are the ones tearing down those who suffer from any form of mental health or as a proxy in that person’s life we are giving them unrealistic answers to their very real issues.
There are black people right now struggling to cope with life, because their loved ones shutdown the idea of seeking professional help. Living a life where people feel that you are so out of control and they are now afraid you, but these are the same people who denied you the help you may have needed to be able to function in society. Our communities are filled with oxymoron’s and it needs to stop.
So let’s pray (if you are praying people), talk, laugh, sooth or whatever that person may need from you at the time. But it’s timeout for closing the doors on our loved ones. It’s time to close our mouths and open our ears to their needs. Let’s build them up and let them that they are surrounded by love and encourage them to see things through.
Until next time… Deuces
A Poem For Dr. Maya Angelou
Originally posted on AtlTomGirl:
Because I truly believe that it is best to give a woman her flowers when she still has the ability to see, feel, and smell them, this here poem is for you My most cherished and…
Don’t Lose Me in The Moment… Seriously Help!!!
Good Day Folks… How’s it hanging? How ya mama and daddy, brother sister nem doing?
As I go through old photos, getting rid of items and make space for new adventures, I’ve come across some pretty embarrassing photos. Y’all know the ones that make you say “Well let me just throw this in the trash now!” or “Seriously I thought that was hot?” I haven’t always walked the straight narrow and I still don’t. But we’ll save that for another time and another moment. Seriously, have you ever gone back through old memories and items and thought to yourself “Thank the Lord for common sense!” Well I have. Here are 10 things I am grateful I didn’t do or go through with as youngster…
- Weddings: Y’all remember those days behind the school bleachers getting high… Yeah I do too. Apparently I promised someone my hand in marriage and all the babies he could hope for… And he wanted 11 just like his grandparents… Foolishly I said yes!!! (LMBO) Needless to say even though I loved him (or thought I did) a few months later I dumb him to pursue a real relationship with weed.
- Tattoos: Let’s be honest we’ve all contemplated those “His & Hers” tattoos. Thankfully I’ve had enough sense to say no.
- Moving: My early 20’s were filled with adventures and not so well thought out activities. Making plans to move to another country for a guy, that even at this moment I cannot remember his entire name. How reckless and immature? Needless to say I didn’t go. This was courtesy of my mom…. Final decision “Let’s try a long distance relationship first!”
- Love Them All: You just can’t love them all even if you try. Luckily, I knew the difference in fun, real and just too much.
- Protection: Sex wasn’t the topic at dinner in my household but when I was older my mom suggested I protect myself. And I did just that. I stocked up on my own stash of condoms, knives and pepper spray. I never regret the decision to protect myself and carry it around.
- Friends: I love all my friends to pieces and I pray they love me. We all have been friends for at least 6 years or more. We have been through ups and downs, ins and outs but ain’t no man coming between us. Lmbo!!! There was this guy who wanted me to give up my friends because some of them weren’t so innocent… Of course I was confused. Needless to say, he will always be remembered as the guy who never had a chance. What about your friends? LOL!!!
- Recordings: My friends and I love to dance and sing. I am so glad camera phones and video cameras weren’t always readily available. I can only imagine what kind of hot mess would have been waiting for us in the future. Or, let’s not forget those girls’ nights that we bashed our guys or guys and other people. No need to have evidence of those things…
- Kiss and Tell: I love my girls but let’s be honest how many of us share every single detail with your girls. I love my privacy to a certain extent. There are things you tell and then there are things you hold on too. Whether they are embarrassing or not. You should never hold the same cards as your friends. I’m just saying.
- Ride or Die: When I love, I love hard. Let’s be honest though… I always wanted to hold my guy down and ride the waves with him. Whether it was love or not I wanted to be supportive… To a certain extent though. Oh you in jail? Dang, I’m sorry make sure you hit me up when you get out. Or those moments where they need a grip of cash and you know they get paid just like you do…. Nah bruh, you good.
- Cosmetic Surgery: Weighing in at 146lbs and 21… I wanted smaller breast, lipo suction and butt implants. That would’ve been a waste of my money and time. I would’ve been banging for about 4 or 5 years… It’s best to wait until after you are done having kids to make that kind of investment into yourself, unless you have money like then go ahead. I am definitely glad I waited and I am still waiting.
It’s ok to be young, but be smart in your travels. I know some of you might go into the “world” (live a secular life) and experience different things, but just take care of yourself first and foremost. Premarital sex is wrong; however, it may be hard to hold out for some people. If sex is something you’re curious about, talk with your parents. Your parents will have an opinion, but would want you to do the right thing, and they will help you protect yourself. If not, there are free clinics to obtain birth control or other contraceptive options. Candidly speaking, I provided my own condoms, I put myself on birth control and I got tested often. Ladies always look out for yourself. Ask for his/her status. Be informed and never be ashamed to say no. Make your own sexual decisions. Never allow yourself to be pressured into doing something you know in your heart you do not want to do. When all else fails, look to God for guidance to abstain or to lead a celibate lifestyle. Trust me I know it’s difficult but it’s so worth it. Leave me your questions or comments below. Send me an email for a bit of advice.
Until next time… Follow me on Twitter and Instragram @GoodolNeech
Happy Mother’s Day
Mothers are a gift from God. Despite their flaws and shortcomings. Either they teach you what you desire or they teach you what not to desire. Let’s make sure we tell our mothers how much we love and cherish them. You only have one mother so love her unconditionally. Let’s not hold on to grudges against the woman who sacrificed the most. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers. I speak life and abundant blessings to each and every one of you!!! Spread the love to those whose mothers have passed away. Encourage them and lift those up who need it and let’s keep going in love.
Enjoy the day and be blessed!!!
Until next time…. XOXO!!!
Bruh… For Real???
As a little ol’ nappy head girl, with a Mizani perm, I was raise Missionary Baptist, in the African American south. And some of us know exactly what that means. For those who don’t, let me help ya…
- Sunday school went from 9 – 10:30 or 11am (long winded teachers and no organization is to blame for that extra 30 mins.) Regular Service or morning service was from 11 – 2 or 3 (where ever the spirit led them)
- Ladies… you better not come in here in those New York and Company pants or pants for that matter. You are lady, put on that skirt or dress.
- Ladies… Where are your pants hose? Bare flesh will not be tolerated up in here. Jesus don’t want to see your legs and neither does my husband or my son. (Ha! Ha!)
- Jeans??? No kind person. Your jeans are meant for socializing and mingling amongst the sinners… In the house of GODT… (God) you will dress accordingly.
- Speaking in tongues??? Off with their heads!!! Not up in here!!! Not on my watch. Not against my Godt!!!
You catch my drift???
Everything was a problem and not acceptable. And going to someone else church… You better not even ask because those heathens are going to hell because they let their people wear jeans. That is the mentality of most African American churches. Not all. (Please keep in mind the not all part. If this wasn’t you growing congratulations, you wore jeans to church.) Every African American church had/has it set of rules and/or customs that “set them apart” in the eyes of the Lord. If you didn’t believe what I believed you were going to hell and there was no question about it. Why did this mentality resonate with so many people…? Great question. Resonated for me because after hearing things like don’t question God, don’t question me (person in charge), and pray about it, because it’s in the word… Shoot. I was like ok. I’m scared. I’m going to take your word for it because it sounds right. Now right here lies the problem with a lot of Christians. “It sounds right!” These folks could be selling you away and you never opened your bible to read it for yourself. Now granted as a child I can understand this mentality. But some of us adults…. Seriously bruh…. For real??? You still on that petty stuff huh? SMH!!!
For example…
The time I first visited my husband’s family and I heard them speaking in tongues. I was scared to death. They sitting here praising the lord and I am in the back asking Jesus to forgive me and them. Why??? Another great question… Because I was told it was wrong. And in my early 20’s I still hadn’t read it for myself. ***SPOILER ALERT*** (I used to be all up in the world… But don’t tell nobody). One day during service, when I was a child, we had a visitor, she got up and started saying something no one understood. Before I could ask anybody anything, I saw that finger wrapped polyester clothing, marching over to this woman and she was gone. (I wonder what she said to her.) After church, I asked my folks what she was saying, because I thought she spoke English to well to be an immigrant. (Don’t judge me. I was a child and didn’t think before I spoke.) I mean seriously, she basically got kicked out church, so somebody had to know what she was saying… Right??? Apparently, no one knew what she was saying but one of the deaconess’ recognized it as the devils language. Needless to say, I was like ooohhhh okay. I get it. She was kicked out because she was different? And you took the advice of a woman who uses peppermint as perfume? (Slumps in chair and ponder.) The answer I was given was, it’s in the bible that it is wrong and it’s the devils language. So… You guessed it. I took it and ran with it.
Of course I know better now.
As I got to know my new found family, I realized, the devil hadn’t taken over my mind and speaking in tongues worked for them. It wasn’t “demonic” and guess what the bible says it’s ok. Don’t believe me, let me help you….Acts 10: 44-48. Just read it for yourself.
But let’s get serious for a moment. We all believe and worship differently, no one person is right and the other is wrong. In Romans 14: 10 – 23, it tells you not be so focused on the undesirable thing your brother or sister may doing. While you’re focused on them, you’ve become a hindering block in their lives and now brought doubt upon them. You don’t do your brother and sister that way. Love them despite your differences and worry about your own relationship with God and push your beliefs on anyone else. (This is my simple interpretation of these scriptures. Read for yourself and know your word). These scriptures spoke volumes to me. And here’s why…
- I am not a bible thumper. And I felt bad for this short coming because everyone around me was throwing scripture left and right for everything. But in this scripture I realized, me and God have our thing going on. He loves and I love Him. I know the bible and I know my brothers and sisters have different beliefs, so I let us be peacefully. Who am I to say they are wrong? And vice versa?
- Shouting and speaking in tongues… Might not be my calling. I’m good with my thank you’s and my own worship. Shouting and speaking in tongues doesn’t make me any less of Christian.
- I know what my convictions are, so therefore, almost everything else is ok (to a certain extent). Everyone isn’t convicted by the same thing and I accept that and I embrace it for everyone.
I’m different. We all are different. Everything is not a demonic force, generational curse (but those women that wear performance art makeup every day that should be on the list… I’m joking), our differences still won’t change the fact that we should all be worrying about our individual relationships with God. Get to know the bible for yourself and get right with your life.
Welp that’s all I have…. Until next time…
Patience Is The New Black
Hello love bugs!!!
I am late posting and I apologize. I am seriously going to get back on track I promise.
As I mentioned earlier in a previous blog, it’s time for Lent. I am going to do my best to post every Friday or Saturday, share a few scriptures with you and s few other things.
I follow SheReadsTruth blog… Here they gave an assigned reading to for their followers to do. This week it was on Psalms 130.
So here we go…
As I read Psalms 130, I couldn’t help but reflect on redemption, forgiveness and patience. In verses 2-3 it speak on redemption, it translates for me into, “Lord, pay attention to my cry for help. If you looked at sins who would be left.” These verses are important since we all seek for His everlasting grace and mercy. Open your heart and cry out to Him so He can hear your pleas for help and grant you the salvation that your heart desires. Verse 4; acknowledges that with God there is forgiveness. And with that forgiveness we as his people will worship him. Also, verses 5-6, patience in our Christian journey is key. “I wait for the Lord, more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” Wait day and night for the lord to come to bless you and deliver you from whatever is going on in your life. In 7-8, He tells Israel to put all their faith into Him, there is faithful love and redemption.
No matter where life takes you or how bad you may think your problem is God is waiting to hear your cry so that he may come and help you. He may not come when you want Him but His love and forgiveness is right on time, so display patience for Him. He has not forgotten about you. God is powerful and He is waiting on you to put your hope in Him and not man. He wants the same love and affection as you expect from Him. With His love you comes forgiveness and so many other treasures of life. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, we are unworthy to stand before but we so deeply yearn to serve Him. Place your hope in the Lord cause in His coming there is redemption for our sins.
Patience is a very important key to this passage; primarily because it’s very important in our everyday lives. Without patience you may be blocking blessings out of your life. No one wants to give cheerfully to a person who is intolerable and rude to the public. You never know who may be watching or who you are talking to. Yes the situation you may be in is very frustrating and uneasy to deal with; do not lose focus of your goals. That situation may be your breakthrough. Keep a smile on your face and keep moving forward in God.
Psalms 130 should bring us all to tears and humble us. We all have short comings but He loves us anyway. He forgives us when we may not even deserve it. He is continuously blessings us and watching over us. All he asks is for us to be patient. You should be patient and believe in Him. Israel waited why can’t we? Worship Him while you wait.
Blessings and Glory belong to you!!!
Later love bugs!!!
Patience is the New Black
Hello love bugs!!!
I am late posting and I apologize. I am seriously going to get back on track I promise.
As I mentioned earlier in a previous blog, it’s time for Lent. I am going to do my best to post every Friday or Saturday, share a few scriptures with you and s few other things.
I follow the SheReadsTruth blog… Here they gave an assigned reading to for their followers to do. This week it was on Psalms 130.
So here we go…
As I read Psalms 130, I couldn’t help but reflect on redemption, forgiveness and patience. In verses 2-3 it speak on redemption, it translates for me into, “Lord, pay attention to my cry for help. If you looked at sins who would be left.” These verses are important since we all seek for His everlasting grace and mercy. Open your heart and cry out to…
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The bottom has fallen out of my life!
Love It!!!
So I know that I have been MIA (Missing In Action) for a couple of weeks. I apologize. I have been working 12 to 16 hours a day and then got sick. I know no surprise with how much I have been working. Things are getting back to normal, so you will see more posts from me. Even some twice a week!
Each morning I have devotional time to start my day. One part of my devotion involves an online internet group of women called She Reads Truth (http://shereadstruth.com/). They have challenged us throughout the Lent Season to study, learn, and stretch ourselves to writing about what we learn from specific scriptures. I have been praying for God to expand me in this manner and He answered my prayer. To be honest I didn’t mean for it to happen publicly yet, but it is what it is. So our first…
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My Take On Psalm 130…She Shares Truth
Amazing…
Hey loves!
So I am accepting the challenge from She Reads Truth to do a blog post every Friday of lent on a bible chapter and/or verse(s) for the She Shares Truth Experiment. This week is Psalm 130.
Let me preface this post by saying, I’ve been praying about how and when I should use my God-given talents and it is no mistake She Reads Truth came into my life and came up with this challenge.
Ok…now for my take on Psalm 130.
Out of all the great praises and pleas in the chapter, the words that stuck out to me were “Pay attention”. I think it is funny this Psalmist asked our great God to pay attention. I mean, how could He not? He is the God that freed the Hebrews from bondage and continually saved them in battles. He even paid enough attention to the future…
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